I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) which is part and parcel of having a major mental health problem. It’s never just one thing, there’s always add ons.
I am primarily an Obsessor with a chunk of compulsion thrown in and I am very disordered.
I haven’t written for nearly two months. This isn’t because I don’t have things to say it’s because the Obsessor in me is obsessing about something else. Currently it’s my family tree but that will change back to writing again or taking photos; it’s a bit like playing a lucky dip, you don’t know what you’re going to get or even if you want it.
I’m thankful for the fact that I can spend huge amounts of time alone which can be difficult given that I live in an extremely friendly part of my city and it’s bad enough trying to avoid people you know without other people wanting to chat. I always do chat back though just in case they’re lonely and I can be a break in that or maybe they think I’m lonely and who am I to deprive someone of doing a good deed.
I’m happy to have a dog that isn’t too keen on people or other dogs so we get to walk without feeling obliged to talk to people and can vary our route as we choose.
I don’t have a particularly good life but I do have a particulary good life also. I suffer but I can suffer (and therefore recover) at my own speed and rate.
So maybe the writing will start again tomorrow or maybe not but if it does it will become another facet of the O in Obsessive for as long as it takes even if it does have me tearing my hair out, quite literally, by the roots.