The only reliable thing about manic depression is that it eventually completes the cycle it’s on. The cycle will start again but when is impossible to predict. Today is excess energy day which is proving quite useful as I’ve been able to do those small things that build up and never quite get done and I’ve got energy to cook so that’s what I’ll be doing this afternoon.
The one glimmer of hope on paranoid day is that excess energy day follows it. I can get hopelessly lost in filling the freezer with good food so that next time (and there always is a next time) at least I have decent meals when I feel like eating.
The trouble with excess energy day is that the amount of energy and how long I can use it for is never predictable. I’m hoping that this is going to be a productive day so that when I finally collapse into bed tonight then I won’t have a home of half done things to clear up tomorrow. Excess energy day is mania of course but I try to sweeten the experience for myself. I don’t fool myself though because, as the old saying goes, “you can’t kid those that have kidded thousands” and those of us with severe bipolar disorder have you all conned into thinking we’re ok because the sheer mundanity of the never ending cycles is too depressing to share.