I’m going to talk, are you listening?

A few weeks ago I got a letter through the door telling me I was due for an ESA reassessment. Part of me dreaded looking at the form and so I didn’t for a few days and allowed myself to feel panicked and because I allowed that feeling it passed. When I looked at it… Continue Reading I’m going to talk, are you listening?

Stop the world, I want to get off

I’m waiting to see a psychiatrist again. My GP requested a referral and we’re both hoping I’ll get to see my last consultant mainly because he’s amazing at his job but also because I saw him for about 10 years and we developed a mutual language so it would be easy to talk to him.… Continue Reading Stop the world, I want to get off

I’m still a sick pigeon…

I’m halfway through the process of becoming free of medication specifically to treat manic depression/bipolar disorder and it’s interesting to say the least. After 20+ of instability and medication regimes so overwhelming (33 pills a day at one point) and distressing I decided this year to try to stop taking medication. I will still take medication… Continue Reading I’m still a sick pigeon…

Leaving the medication behind…

A few years ago I was so seriously disorientated by my mental health problems I was forgetting to top up my electricity and gas meters, forgetting to cook food that I’d bought and was deteriorating rapidly. There wasn’t an obvious reason for this decline, it’s just the way it is sometimes when you have serious… Continue Reading Leaving the medication behind…

On being outwardly competent…

I finished filling in the WCA form earlier this week and had only to sign it once I’d picked the supporting letter from my GP up from his surgery. I’m proud of the way I handled the form filling process. It was stressful, depressing and anxiety inducing but I did it in my own time… Continue Reading On being outwardly competent…

I’m feeling abandoned…

The advice for everybody when it comes to filling in the ESA form is to get expert help. This morning I rang the experts to be told that they don’t/won’t/can’t help. So I have to ask myself what are the mental health charities for if they don’t help you fight the things that could kill… Continue Reading I’m feeling abandoned…

The next step…

The ESA form arrived late last week. I had one of those psychic moments and when I heard the letter box rattle I knew that this was it. I’m wasn’t sure at the time if I was calm about, numb or immersed in planning for some mental health training I was delivering that morning but… Continue Reading The next step…