I don’t do crossroads, I do corners

After what seems to be years, but in reality is just a few months, I finally have finally seemed to turn a corner. Getting to crossroads tends to suggest two options from which to choose but I’ve never been in that position, I’ve always been on the right side of the path but sometimes I… Continue Reading I don’t do crossroads, I do corners

Getting emotional and pressing the delete button

I’ve deleted the two blog posts that I’ve written this week. I’d broken the rules about blogging which are by all means write when you’re angry or deeply emotional but don’t push the ‘publish’ button until you’ve edited the hell out of it the next day. I feel the same way as I did when… Continue Reading Getting emotional and pressing the delete button

Limitations, six (now seven) and three

One thing has become very clear this past week or so and that is my previous limitations have changed. My ability to do stuff, whatever the stuff is, has lessened of late and I have to accept this. It may be a temporary thing or it may be a permanent thing but, either way, I… Continue Reading Limitations, six (now seven) and three

Detaching, shredding and a lack of monks

I had a devastating manic episode a few days ago and I’ve been doing my hermit thing since. It’s very tempting to go on Twitter and rant about politics but politics was one of the contributory factors to this particular episode and the subsequent burn out. I’ve been detaching from the world and tweeting once… Continue Reading Detaching, shredding and a lack of monks

People, politics, passion

I think it’s fair to say that since the General Election was announced I’ve become increasingly political in the run up to it. I think I’m going to blow up before I get to the polling station on Thursday (today is Tuesday 6 June 2017) to cast my vote. I have always been decidedly left… Continue Reading People, politics, passion

On disordered eating

When I first saw the consultant whose care I was under for about a decade we talked about what I wanted or hoped to gain from our time together. He was not a psychiatrist who believed that he was just there to write prescriptions and make hospital admissions, he believed that he was there to… Continue Reading On disordered eating

Well hello depression

I have always been on the depressive side of manic depressive and even during the times when I rapid cycle so many times a day that I lose count there was always the certainty that when the cycling stopped that I would stop in depression and not mania. Depression, while a disgusting and debilitating experience,… Continue Reading Well hello depression

Privacy and the peeled baby

Today I feel exhausted and the pain I felt from writing my most recent blog has left me feeling soulless. I rarely expose so much of myself when I write. People often think that they know me through my writing but that’s not true – they learn of my experiences but me, my inside self,… Continue Reading Privacy and the peeled baby

I’m going to talk, are you listening?

A few weeks ago I got a letter through the door telling me I was due for an ESA reassessment. Part of me dreaded looking at the form and so I didn’t for a few days and allowed myself to feel panicked and because I allowed that feeling it passed. When I looked at it… Continue Reading I’m going to talk, are you listening?

My name’s Sid and I’m an alcoholic…

I remember many years ago, when I was in my very early twenties, I standing outside a pub in Middlesbrough chatting to Jimmy Hartnett about this and that as we did when we bumped into one another when we heard laughter and a boisterous shout before we were swept up in a crushing hug by… Continue Reading My name’s Sid and I’m an alcoholic…